


Cougar Got Your Tongue

by Creed Cascade (creedcascade)



Category: The Losers (2010)
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-09
Updated: 2011-11-09
Packaged: 2017-10-25 20:59:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/274735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creedcascade/pseuds/Creed%20Cascade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen really should have shut up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cougar Got Your Tongue

“Cat piss glows under black light...”

Cougar kept cleaning his rifle, which was laid on the kitchen table of their current safe house.

Jensen was sipping a Slurpee and pacing back in forth in front of the harvest gold fridge. “What? Cat pee’s almost the same colour as this.” He jiggled the nearly empty cup. “Sure, it seemed like a good idea at the time to get this flavour, banana-rama something... tastes okay, but the colour of cat pee.” He sipped on the straw, making a loud slurping sound. “Doesn’t taste like it though. Pee, not bananas.”

Cougar raised an eyebrow. His fingers flew quickly and carefully over the disassembled parts.

“Yes, unfortunately I know what cat pee tastes like. It was a nasty incident involving a cat box, a half-bald Siamese, and a stick of dynamite.” He slurped on the straw again. “I told you, you can’t trust cats. Ancient Egyptians used to shave off their eyebrows to mourn their dead kitties. Scary, but true fact. I found it on the Internet.”

Cougar paused and held up his pointer finger.

Jensen stopped pacing. “Oh, right.”

Cougar kept holding up his finger.

“Ah, man. Don’t make me say it...”

Cougar narrowed his gaze.

“Fine, fine.” Jensen sighed. “Don’t believe everything you read on the Internet.”

“Thank you, Cougar! We don’t want a repeat of the Wiki incident. I like my nards too much and I don’t care what he says Super Glue can do.” Pooch yelled from the other room. “Hey, while you’re at it, shut him the hell up. He’s been doing obscene things with that straw for the last fifteen minutes.”

“Guilty as charged.” Jensen smirked and sucked on the straw, never taking his gaze off of Cougar. “So, I was saying...”

Pooch and Clay came into the kitchen.

“Hey, guys... oh. I know that look. Seriously, Clay, I didn’t-”

“I told you to shut-up about the freakin’ cats,” Clay snapped.

“It’s not my fault if you get grumpy because you haven’t gotten any lately and don’t want to hear about any kind of pus-” Jensen dropped his Slurpee when Pooch and Clay attacked him.

Pooch clasped one hand over Jensen’s mouth and wrapped his free arm around Jensen’s neck. Clay was quick behind Pooch, securing Jensen in a pair of handcuff. Pooch kept Jensen under control as Clay back away. He dug into the pocket of his dress slacks and pulled out a key, tossing it on the table in front of Cougar.

“Keep him quiet. We’re going out for a drink,” Clay said.

Cougar smirked and tipped his hat at Clay.

Pooch whooped a laugh and pushed Jensen against the kitchen wall before letting him go. He gently slapped Jensen’s cheek. “Be good. I’d tell you not to do anything I wouldn’t do, but you’ve been doing that with him for a while now.”

“This is so unfair,” Jensen started to complain. “None of you appreciate my conversation skills. I resent that-”

Cougar shut Jensen up in a very creative manner, involving gun oil and the kitchen table.

“Damn it,” Clay huffed. “At least wait until I’m outta here!”

Jensen groaned and Clay winced.

“I have to eat off that!” Clay slammed the door behind him.

END.


End file.
